Rayne turns 5

Rayne was born 5 years ago on Super bowl Sunday at the time I did not even know there was a world beyond our family (which included trying to adopt Lexy) and our new beautiful baby.  I am not really football fan but I am sure someday it will be cool to Rayne that he was born on the biggest football day of the year.  Right now his favorite thing is Monster trucks and lucky for him Monster Jam also comes to Tampa his birthday weekend.  This was our second year attending the event.  This time we had a year to watch it on TV, get to know the trucks and drivers and gather a good collection of toys.  Grandma and grandpa, Uncle Mike and cousin MJ joined us. Grandma packed a picnic so we could tailgate before.  Rayne was so excited and worried he was going to miss something he hardly ate (not that this is anything new). All of his favorite trucks were there and one of his favorites won!  He sat by his "best friend" grandpa and gave him the DL on all the trucks.  It was a super fun night.

The Sunday after Monster Jam we had some friends over to grandma and grandpas for a monster truck birthday party.  Complete with a zip-line (courtesy of daddy), a piñata, golf cart rides and a monster truck cake (made for him by grandma). It was a great day and my little man felt special and loved!

Rayne is a special little boy!  No matter how long we grow his hair, or if he has his toenails painted, or even carries around his baby doll….. he is ALL boy.  He is mechanical and curious about how things work. Rayne loves trucks, boats, airplanes, fishing and dirt.  He adds so much color and joy to our lives!

New Car

So much has happened since I last blogged, I am not sure where to begin. I think I will post a few small updates to catch up.

The year ended with me being in a bad car accident.  Thankfully Rayne and I were okay but my car was totaled.  There was some doubt that insurance was going to cover any of it because the guy that hit us had no license and was not honest when completing his insurance paperwork.  Since the accident was his fault and we did not have collision his insurance was our only hope. Thankfully they decided to cover my trailblazer 80%.  It should have been 100% because the police report said I had no fault and he failed to yield the right of way…. anyway  I went from thinking I was getting nothing, so needless to say I was grateful.  It took the insurance company more than a month to compensate us. I have sweet friends that let me use their extra car while I was waiting on insurance and shopping for a new (to me) car.  Buying a car is a big expense and a big decision so, with my dad’s help I bought a 2008 Chevy Tahoe LTZ.  It is shiny with a lot of bells and whistles.  We needed a third row so we can fit car seats and it had to be large enough to pull our 24’ camper.  Trying not to make more of a footprint than we had to I did a lot of research on SUV’s and engines.  The one we bought has a fuel management system so it drops down to 4 cylinders when possible.  It is also equipped with flexfuel so it can run on ethanol.  It is already better on gas than my smaller truck was. It also has second row bucket seats and a dvd player. Sporty on the outside, family friendly on the inside and will pull our camper with ease. I know not all stay-at-home moms are blessed with all these luxuries in a car. It’s a beautiful truck and boy do I feel spoiled.

 

New year same challanges

I brought in the new year sick as a dog and I spent New Years Eve in the walk-in clinic.  I think we had a virus go through the house, but everyone else seemed to fight it off except me.  After a chest x-ray I was given a round of antibiotics, steroids and breathing treatments.  It is February and I just started my second round of the same.  The doctor said that the illness triggered some lupus activity.  Perhaps my iron levels being low are hindering my healing.  I’m not sure really what is going on but I do know I am not feeling great. 

I have a wonderful rheumatologist that is very understanding of my life and how lupus effects it.  She is loving and understanding that I am a mom and is affectionate to my kids when I have to bring my kids to my appointments.  She is also understands our healthcare and financial limitations.  I am very lucky to have her as doctor I honestly believes she cares about me and my family.  I hope you never do but if you are in need of a RA, I highly recommend Dr. Kimberly Smith. http://www.mmghealth.com/

http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/dr-kimberly-m-smith-of-tampa-fl-is-honored-as-a-compassionate-doctor-166311286.html

I am going to shop around to see if I can find an iron infusion that is more affordable than the cancer doctor I saw.  I am feeling pretty rundown. It could be from my levels being so low or just general lupus activity.  I still have not learned to balance my disease and listen to my body’s signals to slow down.  I am not sure how to do that when life goes on.  My kids continue to grow and have needs and desires that I WANT to fulfill.  I am emotional and sensitive but I know that if I start feeling better this will pass. 

My new years resolution is to promote health through out my family.  I want to continue to learn about whole health for all of us, my home and our environment.  I believe this will be a life long goal as we learn and evolve.  I am not so naïve to think that this can be accomplished in one year but I want for this year to continue on this journey.

Monty did get some fireworks for the kids half off after new years and later that week we had a good time setting them off.  All my kids (including Monty) love fireworks!!

 

When it rains it pours…

Last week I was in a car accident.  Rayne and I were heading over to my mom’s house to take care of their kitty while they were in Pine Island.  When we went through an intersection a pick up truck turned into our car at a high rate of speed.  The man driving did not have a driver’s license and his insurance may or not be valid.  Since it was just before the holiday his insurance company is on vacation and will not return until tomorrow.  My car likely will be a total loss and there is a chance that we will not be covered.  Rayne is totally fine and I had a few days being very sore but thankfully neither of us were really hurt and I have a rental car right now.

 I have not been feeling well again and I saw my rheumatologist. I have stomach ulcers again due to the medication I take for my lupus so they are treating them with new medications and have lowered my plaquenil (anti-malaria that treats lupus) in an effort to get my stomach healed.  She was also concerned with my iron levels so she ordered some more labs and sent me to a hematologist that I saw today.  My ferritin iron level was 4, she said seriously low is 10 and normal is 40-300.  She said all my efforts in trying to eat more iron would not be able to combat how low my numbers are.  She is suggesting an iron infusion.  Unfortunately it is a pricey procedure and I will likely need more than one.  Due to the recent costs of the accident I am not sure how we are going to afford it all.  Monty just reassures me that it will work out, but I am very worried.

 To top it off the little health insurance we have has lost the contract to baycare (which is ALL of our local hospitals) when I called them today they did not have a solution so we have NO hospital coverage.  I called several other insurance companies but due to my lupus and Monty’s pre-existing condition no one else will cover us individually.  We are getting some quotes for small group coverage with Gary Consulting, but it is going to be very expensive.  Again I find myself weary and just putting one foot in front of the other…. but I AM still moving!  Thank God!!

Grandma and Grandpa and their grandbabies <

The kids got matching (twins) baby dolls for Christmas….. Lexy said “placement must have called Santa and told him to find a good home for these babies.”

Decorating the tree

Santa Came

 On a positive note we had a great Christmas.  We were all together we shared lots of love and received lots gifts.  I had good intentions of cutting back but we were all spoiled.  Though I have been feeling overwhelmed lately I do know that I am blessed.  The financial and health challenges that I am facing does not compare to what many others are dealing with. 

Christmas Letter 2012

Dear loved ones,

We have had another busy year here in the Gary house!!

Rayne brings in the year with a birthday, this year he turned 4.  He played a season of t-ball but has decided that soccer is his favorite right now.  He is quite the athlete (not sure where he get it from) and is competitive and fast.  He lacks no confidence and rarely stops moving, talking, flipping, jumping, or asking questions.  He loves being a big brother to our foster babies and takes his job very seriously.

I continue to homeschool Lexy. We love our flexible schedule and the freedom of allowing her to be a kid.  She started 1^st grade in virtual school with the county this year and likes doing her work most days.  She is creative and enjoys writing and drawing.  She also participated in soccer and t-ball but has decided she would rather be a ballerina.  She turned 7 in August and continues to see a weekly speech and occupational therapist.  She also loves being a big sister and begs to take every child that placement calls about.  She is hoping the next call will be a little girl, since we had all boys this year.

In May I participated in my first every lupus walk and with the support of my family and friends raised more than $1000, but the most valuable part for me was the reminder of how much love and support I have. I was overwhelmed and grateful!!  There have been some improvements, though lupus continues to challenge me and our family plans.  I haven’t given up on a complete remission.  I continue to work towards a healthy diet and lifestyle for all of us.  I have big plans for our organic garden in the spring and intend to feel well enough to follow them through.

We have had an active year fostering.  Though our home is still considered a short term emergency home, it is difficult for me to let our babies leave until I find peace with where they are going.  The system continues to disappoint me, but there are rays of light among the chaos and I try to focus on those.  The children are precious and worth every bit of the time we put in to try and ensure their well being.

The end of the year brought sadness in the loss of our sweet Sunny.  He was my first cat when moving out on my own and had won the hearts of Monty and the kids.  He was 12 years old and was a great companion for many years.  We miss him a lot!

Gary Consulting is staying busy and I am thankful that is still gives me the opportunity to stay home with the kids.  We haven’t used our camper much this year but already have plans for a trip in 2013.

Merry Christmas!!

Peace and Love, Amanda (Monty, Alexis and Rayne)

 

 

Family Pictures 2012

 

My sweet and talented friend Amy Roberts took family pictures for us at the end of the year for our Christmas card.  It was our first time as a family having our pictures made.  It was a wonderful experience and I think they turned out great!

 

Check her our at http://www.abandonphotography.com/

She is affordable, flexible, talented and sweet.

 

 

Our ripples are making waves...

The season is upon us and it does it get busy fast.  I can’t believe it has been two weeks since I have posted an update.  Since our sweet foster baby went home I have kept in touch with his dad and even babysat him last weekend. He seems well adjusted and he is right where he needs to be with his daddy.  It I'm honest it was fun having him for the weekend and it was also good to take him home where I know he is save and loved.  After just a weekend with him I wondered how I got anything done with the extra baby in the house.  I am trying to take off fostering for the holiday season.  I have asked to only be called for emergency placements until the first of the year. I don’t take my name completely off because I can’t stand the thought of kids being stuck in the sheriff’s office during Christmas and unfortunately this is a busy time for foster care.  I just pray (for the children’s sake) they don’t need me.

As I shared in my last post the kids and I (and another homeschooling/foster mom friend) started a “little” Random Acts of Kindness project.  We have a long list that grows everyday of kind acts we can do for friends and strangers.  On a whim I created a facebook event to share in hopes that others would join us.  I have been blown away by the response!!  My friend Melissa and I had no idea that our little family projects would begin this small movement.  We have almost 1,200 people that have committed to completing kindness acts on 12-12-12.  The coolest part of it is all to me is that it started a conversation.  People are talking sharing ideas and excited about it.  People have asked that we extend and make it a year round project.  So we started a year round kindness page called Living Stones..... Making a ripple with love and kindness.

https://www.facebook.com/#!/LivingStonesMakingARippleWithLoveAndKindness

As many of you know we started this project to teach our children by example and hands on activities to be kind and love others.  I could share tons of stories on how my family has been blessed these last several days.  We have had homeless people tell us they love us, hugs from strangers, happy dances for volunteers at the foster parent association, a cash donation from a stranger (we passed along to a family that needed a little help over Christmas) and lots joy in our hearts from things we do anonymously.  We went out to make a small change in the world and ended up having a huge change in our own hearts. 

If you want to join our little movement…  Join our event on facebook or like our page.  Please don’t misunderstand I do not assume that you are unkind…..I know most of the people that follow my blog are personal friends and family and are kind by nature.  This is just a reminder to start the conversation and spread love everywhere you go.  It could change the world and possibly (like our family) change your own heart..

 

Ripple this holiday

So I am embarrassed to admit it but I have been dreading the holiday season.  Don’t get me wrong I love the time with my family and the joy it brings my children, but I even worry about how healthy it is for them to have and get so much “stuff”. .So with some soul searching, a little help from the internet and a very close mama friend we have a special plan to make Christmas more personal and less commercial.  We are going to focus on giving love instead of receiving stuff.   For the month of December we will complete as many random acts of kindness (love) as possible and document our progress.  We even have a play/kindness date planned on 12-12-12 where together with our friends we will complete 12 acts on one day.  How fun is that!!  Here is the beginning of our list that is growing by the moment.

v      Mail carrier homemade gift/card (fast food card lunch is on us today)

v      Trash man homemade gift/card (fast food card lunch is on us today)

v      Leave quarters on a soda/snack machine with a note

v      A dollar in the dollar store toy section with a note

v      Gather the grocery carts and return them in the store

v      Leave diaper and wipes on a public changing table

v      Care packs for the homeless

v      Clean out toys and donate to charity

v      Clean out clothes and donate to charity

v      Pick up trash

v      Send a thank you letter to a solider

v      Help someone load their groceries in the car

v      Visit a nursing home with lots of hugs

v      Take canned goods to a food bank

v      Collect coins and give to charity

v      Hold the door for someone

v      Leave coins at a laundry mat with a note that says laundry is on us today

v      Write 5 things you like about someone and give it to them

v      Make daddy breakfast in bed

v      Allow someone behind you in line to go ahead of you

v      Place a note on someone’s windshield

v      Take old towels and pet food to an animal shelter

v      Smile and speak to 10 strangers

v      Sweep a neighbors sidewalk

v      Leave candy and a note on a stranger’s door

v      Give bags of microwave popcorn to people in line for redbox

v      Quarters on gumball machines

v      Gatorade to construction/outside workers

v      Shop for stockings for needy kids. (have stockings one for boy and one for girl)

v      Return neighbors trash cans after trash day

v      Tape lottery tickets to gas pumps

v      Hide notes/gifts on a playground for children to find

v     Put change in meters (the courthouse/downtown would be a good place for this)

v      Buy flowers and after paying for them hand them to the cashier and say thank you

v      Bring hot chocolate/coffee to bell ringers

v      Take cookies to the kid’s doctor’s offices and thank them for caring for them all year

We will include a note of love and a rock in the ones we can and visualize a ripple effect. I know a few of the items we will still have to buy “stuff” but it will be in the spirit of giving and minimal.  We will reuse and recycle as much as we can.  The Christmas gifts we give this year we will work to make very personal and give with our hearts since we are limited on money anyway :).  I think these are good habits to teach our kids all year around.  We will not need an “Elf on the Shelf” in our house either.  I prefer my kids to be guided by their hearts and learn to listen to their conscience not behave because a plastic doll is watching them.

A ripple is an amazing part of nature. A rock causes a huge splash at the beginning. There is a middle where the circle is perfect. Then the tiny ripples go out from there. It is a perfect symbol of love and kindness.

 

 

 

The cure for anything is salt water.....

I took Jay to live with his dad on Friday.  His reunification was delayed several times due to “drama”.  I will spare you the details, but I can tell you I no longer think his mother has his best interest at heart.  I believe she is capable of being a good mom and I wish she would.  Friday I went through the painful process of packing him to go home.  I ended up with 8 very large shopping bags overflowing with stuff and had enough formula to last him way past his first birthday.  I received an e-mail from his dad Saturday morning thanking me for everything and telling me that I would always be Jayden’s mom, I could pick him up anytime and stay in his life forever.  This brings me so much comfort… of course I am thrilled to keep in touch with my little man, but mostly because his dad trusts me!  He felt my genuine love for his baby and for this I am thankful.

My mind drifts to him often, wondering if his cold is better and how his first day at daycare was.  I want his teacher to know how snuggly he is and that he loves to dance.  I know he is okay, and I know he is where he should be.  I just miss him.  The kids are handling it amazingly as usual.  They completely loved him and accepted him as a brother the first day he arrived.  Yet they understand that it was time for him to leave..  I got Jay an amber necklace to help with his teething, Rayne had one like it….. Rayne has not taken his off since I put it on Jay.  We all have our own ways of coping and we are!  Being a foster family is not for the weak at heart let me tell you… my kids got this!!   They are loving, accepting and so strong.  They understand our commitment and help me keep perspective.

Saturday after soccer my mom wanted to take the kids fishing.  Honestly I am not a big fan of fishing even though I grew up doing it.  Don’t get me wrong I do love the water, boating, the beach, picking up shells, and swimming.  So we went to the marina where dad has one of his offices and fished off the docks.  Grandma and the kids caught 12 fish all different sizes and kinds.  It was so much fun!!  Lexy caught several fish then found joy in playing in the bait bucket, feeding birds and gathering shells.  Rayne stayed focused and refused to reel his line in until there was a fish on it.  It was just the distraction we all needed.  Thanks Grandma!! 

Little red snapper



Sting ray

 

grunt



grunt




sheephead



Lady fish



Big black drum



Little red fish