With my grandma’s passing last weekend I have been doing A LOT of thinking…… about life, motherhood, family, marriage, faith, but mostly about Lexy. I feel scared and sad for her. She has had way too much trauma and pain in her short little life, and even now as hard as I try to protect her, it seems I haven’t been able too. I felt confident and secure in her placement for preschool, but I was wrong. She is misunderstood, and picked on by the other children. I had only become aware of the situation after Christmas break, when I had a conference with her teacher. At this time (for the first time since she has been at this school) her teacher informed me that Lexy’s behaviors had isolated her from the other children in the class. She must have seen the surprise on my face when she told me this, because her response to me was “you had to have known” well I didn’t! I guess parents are the last to know. In our home and in other social situations with other children this has not been an issue. We have been fully aware of her being “overly affectionate” (or sensory seeking), her speech delays, and other learning (processing issues), but nothing we would have ever thought that would make her not accepted in a classroom. She seems so loveable to us. We have worked closely with a therapy group since day one of Lexy moving into our home. Lexy receives speech (from a very seasoned, bright pathologist, twice a week), did pre-k boot camp (through the therapy center), and has received occupational therapy. We have worked very hard to be proactive and aware of Lexy’s behaviors and needs. Next Monty started noticing that she did not like going to school, and when she would walk into the classroom she would get as far away from her classmates as possible. I reached out to my resources (talked with my mom and other seasoned teacher and mom friends) and asked her therapist to observe her in the classroom. She also felt Lexy was not herself. There have been several other incidents including her not getting her juice we pack in her lunch, because she does not ask for it to be opened in the first 5 minutes of lunch time…. the Easter egg hunt fiasco, and other interactions observed. Monty and I have decided to allow her to finish out the last couple weeks at this school. The administration has shown concern and promised to stay close to her during her final days there. Then we have decided that I will home school her next year. This is an exciting, scary new adventure for us. Since her birthday is August 25 just before the cut off of September 1, we sort of have a free year to give it a try. I have just learned of the k12 program with the public school that provides all resources, curriculum, books, and even a teacher to monitor her (our) progress. I think the structure of this program will be helpful for both of us. Her therapy group (which has been our life saver) is also on board to help with curriculum, evaluations, and any other needs we may have.
Lexy is not hard to understand, not for me (and Monty) anyway, maybe it’s because I am her mom. She is affectionate, lovable, kind, silly, funny, stubborn, smart and amazing!! She needs structure, love and understanding. She sometimes needs a little more time to process than other children, but she is bright and as capable as any other child her age. Monty and I have discussed at length with each other, and professionals, and believe in our hearts that we are making the best decision for Lexy. It may not be easy for me, but I am honestly trying to go into it with eyes wide open, and hoping to learn right along with my daughter.
I welcome any resources that anyone knows of. We will also be looking to set up play dates!! I have such a wonderful network of diverse and seasoned parents, I look forward to any ideas and suggestions you may have. Any prayers, or good energy that you can send in our direction would also be greatly appreciated!!
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