Today's news

Long story but I went back to my old rheumatologist today basically because I had an appointment and feel awful.  There have been a lot of changes in her office and I am hopeful it makes it more bearable to get into her.  She told me my lupus is back active and would like to start me on an immune suppresser drug.  We talked about several options and even benlyst which I will never be able to afford.  She wants to wait for my labs to come back to make a decision.  I really already knew… I guess I just didn’t want to face it.  I am scared of the “chemo” type and steroid drugs, so I have just kept on trucking and pretending.  I did feel like my doctor heard me today and as always she sent me off with a hug.

If I am honest I have not been diligent with my diet and supplements, so between now and my next appointment I plan and filling my body with nutrients and visualizing and praying for healing.  I am not sure I am ready to face the “big girl” drugs yet.

The attorney does not agree that the Jay’s dad is safe to take him, though he did not have one recommendation for services. His reason for not agreeing to reunify him was “failure to protect”. He has no prior incidents that would indicate that could not care for his son, and there is an injunction on the mom so she would not be a concern.  He has a new home, a great job, and went out of state to get all the babies personal items this weekend.    It looks like we may have the little guy longer than planned.  Hopefully something productive will happen in court next so this sweet baby’s life will not stay in limbo.  

The system always pushes me to the limit we are approaching our 30 day mark, but no permanency for this baby yet.  A month should be enough time to have an idea or a plan of action for a placement that is in a short term foster placement.  Thankfully he has a wonderful worker and I believe she will keep everything moving.  Just one day at a time from here I guess. 

 

 

Sooner than we thought

I talked to Jay’s worker this afternoon and turns out that he may have been “unjustly sheltered”.  Since his dad has no priors, a good job and now a new home he may be able to move in with him immediately.  The case worker should get back to me today.  He could still have to have a home study completed but even then it is likely that he can live with him while the backgrounds and home study are pending.  Court is Friday so if we don’t know anything before we will defiantly know by then.  I am planning to attend the visit tomorrow to meet the dad.  He is new to the area and I would love to be a support to him as need, and the added bonus to that is I would be able to see him and how he is doing. Of course my car is in the shop this week and won’t be ready until Friday so it has been a challenge trying to figure out transportation that will hold all three car seats. 

I thought the more kids you take the easier it is to let them go, but for me and the kids it just seems to get harder.  This one is going to be tough on all of us.  They are all loveable, but this little guy is particularly charming and has quickly worked his way into our hearts.  More to come....

We are so provided for...

We have had baby Jay three weeks now and he is settling right in. He is a joyful, snuggly and a well taken care of baby. He has found the notch in my hip and the crease in my lap that he fits in and that’s exactly where he wants to be. He was the only child in the home and mom was a SAHM and apparently had time to hold him a lot. He makes funny baby noises and faces and has the sweetest little backwards wave. He is adorable and a joy to have in our home.

He has grandparents out of state that are in the process of having a home study completed so they can get him out of foster care asap. Both parents are completely compliant with the system. The mom has provided me with shot records, formula, clothes, and baby food. According to the worker both parents show genuine concern for their baby and are working as hard as they can to get him back. I really hope that they get the services they need and he can go home to a safe loving environment.

Since we take short term placements and live in a small home I am always begging for “stuff” when we get a new baby. With the different ages, developmental stages we could not possibly store everything we need, and our $13 a day board rate hardly covers gear. It’s amazing how we are always so provided for. Friends brought me clothes, his doctor gave me some formula (he is on a very expensive kind), the association gave us a swing, I had a friend that lives across state hook me up with her daughter-in-law for a baby gate (even though he refuses to be in it) and I even found an exersaucer by my neighbors trash. We are defiantly not rich and I am so thankful for everyone that so generously shares their hand-me-downs.

 

Lexy is doing great with her online school, I however am still learning all the websites and logins :). Both kids start soccer this weekend and are very excited. Monty is so busy and has more work than he can get done.

I am not in a good place with my lupus right now.I am not feeling well. I need to find a new rheumatologist because mine moved, but I do not want to give this stupid disease one more drop of my energy or money. If I don’t address it will take the last little bit of energy I do have though. Lately it is so much easier to pretend and push through.

 

Just love them...

It was kindly brought to my attention that I am due for an update and I do have lots to share.

Lexy has officially started Hillsborough County Virtual school and so far so good. Turns out it is the same online program that we used (and paid for) last year, so she is very familiar with it and it’s working for her.  Since we registered at the last minute we were a little behind on getting started but I don’t think it will take her long to catch up.

Both of the kids finished up their 3^rd year of swimming lessons.  Lexy is a fish and I am secure that Rayne can save himself if he falls in now.

About a week and a half ago we took in a 9 month old little boy that had skull fractures due to being dropped on concrete by his mother.  Lots of stories have been flying around about how it happened, but at this point only his mother knows the truth.  It happened in a public place that actually had video cameras and she was charged with domestic violence and child neglect so there will be a trial.  I do know his parents were having an altercation (not the first time) and some how the baby ended up on the ground.  The first story I heard was that she threw him, then that he accidently slipped out of her hands.  I prefer the second version myself.

He is a beautiful little boy, tiny for his age only 17lbs, but seems to be well cared for.  He attached very quickly to me and follows me around the house begging me to pick him up.  As long as he is touching some part of me he is fine, but when I have to put him down or walk away from him…. he is not a happy camper.  We are working through this, our doctor said I have to put him down sometimes and let him work it out.  It’s not fun for any of us though.  He is going through a huge transition and I want him to feel safe and secure.  He has had two visits with his parents and both times mom brought him formula (he is on a very expensive kind) and other necessities.  Reports from the visits are that the parents are appropriate and show genuine concern for his well being.  They have to visit separately due to a restraining order against one of them.  I am going to try and help the mom feel secure through e-mails and photos.  I had offered to supervise the visits, but Monty thought it was a bad idea and he is right.  He reminded me that she went to a very scary place to hurt (or allow) her baby to be injured like that. My hope is that this will be a huge wake up call for his family, that they will work through their problems and live happily ever after.  A girl can dream….

As always the kids are welcoming and accepting of our new baby.  They amaze me! They are my extra set of eyes and ears and are eager to report if he is in any danger.  They happily tend to him anytime they can.  I don’t know how long he will be with us.  As a family we have chosen to only take temporary placements and the limit we set was a month, any longer than that we get too attached.  There does not seem to be any family that will be able to take the little guy, and the case plan for the parents should be pretty simple.  They is no concern about housing or employment (so they won’t have the 6 months to prove that) basically I believe they will have anger management and parenting classes that could possible be completed in as few as 2 months.  I guess we will just have to take it one day at a time.

Since we have been back in the swing of fostering I have met several foster (and homeschooling) moms and am grateful.  We have play dates talk on the phone brainstorm parenting ideas.  Foster, adoptive, homeschooling parents often have unique experiences and it is so helpful to have other seasoned mama’s for support.  I have also plugged back into the local foster parent association. I had pretty much donated and given away most of our baby gear.  I though lupus would keep me from being able to foster again and our house is pretty small to store extra stuff.  I reached out to the association and they helped me get some supplies.  I am reminded what a great resource they are to foster families and children.  I know I always have a cause and am always begging for something but….. just in case you are looking for a worthy cause to donate your used baby/kid/teen/adult clothes and gear to I am your girl.  I will be happy to deliver it.  It has been a blessing to us and so many other foster families and children.  http://www.hcfpa.org/