Celebrating spring with Grandma

Mom played hooky from work and came over with a bag of Easter cheer.  With this lupus flare I have been falling behind so grandma came over to help get us ready for the holiday.  We made Easter baskets out of recycled strawberry baskets, and Easter cards to share.  She brought decorations for the house and a few treats.  Then we met grandpa for lunch, picked up some live bait and headed out to the marina so the kids could use the new poles grandpa go them for Christmas.

Lexy's visit with bio family

We were over due for a visit with Lexy’s bio (maternal) sister (who is 10 years old now) and her bio (maternal) grandma.  Lexy was 19 months old and her sister J was 4 when they were removed from their home for severe abuse.  J endured documented abuse for years before she was finally removed due to the abuse on Alexis.  J moved in with her paternal grandma (the girls have different dads) and Lexy came to us.  It is the maternal Grandmother of both girls that brings J to the visits. 

This time we decided to meet at the bowling alley since Rayne had just won a free game and pizza at the fishing tournament.  I forgot how fun bowling is and the kids had a really great time.  We had pizza, bowled, and Grandma Julie brought Lexy’s Christmas gifts.  J has always been pretty challenging and regularly tests limits. Grandma Julie got Lexy a new baby doll, that she loved.  J began whispering to Lexy but I could not hear their conversation and because I tend to be a helicopter parent I was trying to give them space to bond.  Shortly after Lexy came up to me very worried and said to J tell my mommy what you told me about my new baby doll.  J quickly tried to change the subject but I insisted they go on.  Apparently J told Lexy that she had to tie her new baby’s feet together at night because that kind of baby would get up and try to kill her.   REALLY???  Lexy was panicked so I made J look at Lexy (J is not much for making eye contact of any kind) and tell her that she made up that story.  There were a few other worrisome interactions through out the visit and I had a long talk with Lexy and explained to her that J has some problems and that she sometimes makes up stories. 

This recent visit made me feel two things…. Thankful and sad!  First I am so thankful that Lexy is the little girl she is.  I am thankful for her innocence, her sweet spirit and that she is  my daughter.  It also made me sad because J is a troubled little girl and clearly has more damage from the time in the abusive home and time in foster care.  Both girls show signs of RADD (in different ways) and I hope J is getting the services she needs.

Rayne's First Fishing Tournament

Rayne’s first fishing tournament was the beginning of the March. The South Shore Anglers Club hosted a trout tournament that benefited Alzheimer’s association.  Grandpa, Rayne and Uncle Mike set out fairly early to get to their hot fishing spots.  Well before they even left the dock Rayne walked in to the back of grandpa’s truck and cut his cheek pretty deep.  Uncle Mike (fire fighter/EMS) called me to let me know he it needed medical attention, so I picked him up and took him to the walk in clinic (secretly hoping they would just glue it).  Rayne had been very brave and had not cried at all until he thought it might cause him to miss the tournament.  Grandpa promised to stay close so he could still go fishing when he was done at the doctor. 

We got to a local walk in clinic and the doctor on duty explained that glue would not work and it would have to be stitched.  Her suggestion was to take him to the hospital and see a plastic surgeon due to where it was on his face and how it was cut.  She was concerned about the size and place of the scar ... after the brief guilt trip from the doctor.  I kindly explained that we did not have the financial resources or health insurance and I was okay with a little scar.  Don’t get me wrong I would rather him stay perfect, but he is a boy, its life and it could be a lot worse.  She agreed to stitch it and I think she did a pretty good job.  It took every nurse and family member (me, daddy and grandma) there to hold him down once he heard he was getting stitches.  He panicked (apparently typical of his age) and it made it very challenging to get it numb. Once it was numb he calmed down some during the actual stitches.  As promised as soon as he was done I took him back to the marina where grandpa picked him up and he was still able to go fishing.

 

He ended up catching a couple small trout.  It was a catch and release tournament so they took pictures to the “weigh in” and after party.  Rayne came in second (of the two kids that participated) and won a hat, a free bowling certificate and a trophy (grandma had made or his first tournament).  Everyone made him feel very brave and special for continuing to fish even after his ordeal.  He ended up having a very good day and he and grandpa are already planning on their next tournament.  Let’s just hope the next one is not quite so stressful and expensive.