We're listening

This week Monty has done several after hour jobs, and not come home until really late at night or I guess you could say early in the morning.  Last night (while daddy was working) after the kids were bathed and fed, I decided to slip into my evening Epsom salt soak. Rayne followed me with a bucket full of toy airplanes so he could play with me while I was in the tub.  I locked the front and back door, and left Lexy in the family room watching a kid show we had taped on the DVR.  Rayne went back to the family room gather more planes and I heard him say to Lexy you are not supposed to be watching that.  Lexy hurried in to the bathroom in a panic.  Rayne turned the TV off and reported to me that his sister was watching dead bodies with no heads… YIKES.  After her show ended the regular television came on to CSI NY.  I have never actually watched the show, but I can only imagine.  Needless to say the rest of the evening Lexy was terrified. We were awake a lot of the night dealing with nightmares and fears.  It didn’t help that her daddy wasn’t home, things always run more smoothly when Monty is here.  This was my wake up call I know the kids need to cut back on their TV and electronic time and this was my message loud and clear.

Dancing in the rain!

Monty took the kids to soccer this morning, and when they got home I had Lexy lay down for awhile due to her not sleeping much the night before.  Daddy and her had some afternoon shopping plans, so Rayne and I headed out to USF botanical gardens for their rescheduled (due to rain) earth day celebration.  It’s a fun event and I enjoy talking to the vendors and learning new stuff.  We bought a few new plants, Rayne made some crafts, and we listened to a live band.  Nice afternoon and it felt good to get out, I have had a little cabin fever.

The kids and I spent the rest of the afternoon outside playing in the rain and hula hooping.  The fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree.  They love to be outside!

When I went to start dinner tonight, I realized that our second refrigerator and freezer had quit working.  We quickly began saving what food we could and I made room for what was left in our main fridge.  It was disappointing to lose so much food, but I had another wake up call!  We do not need a second refrigerator and freezer.  It uses too much energy, and we are not that big of a family.  So we cleaned it out and have no plans of replacing it.

I have heard Oprah talk about how God speaks to her through a whisper at first, but then gets louder until he is shaking her to open up to something new.  This is happening to me! I know many things about our lifestyle have to change to be healthy, and whole.  Monty and I really want to focus on what is important, and not take our good life for granted. I have been taking small steps to move our family in this direction, but God, the universe, mother earth just keep getting louder and we are listening. 

Earth Day

Spring is my favorite time of the year and Earth day is one of my favorite holidays. Our family usually celebrates by going to a fun community event where we gather new ideas and inspirations for living a greener healthier lifestyle. This year it was raining (which my garden and I are thankful for) so we stayed home. Mom and I worked around the house a bit, still on a mission to purge and simplify. Today I am proudly to sharing some of the changes my family is making. By next spring we hope to me leaving a much smaller footprint on our Mother Earth.

Since we recently completely stopped using paper towels and paper napkins we needed some cloth napkins to use at meals. So I spent Saturday evening going through old scrap fabrics (some belonged my grandma) and I sewed our family about 15 colorful napkins. The kids have been enjoying passing them out at dinner. They try to pick out the one each family member will like the best. Conserving can really be fun for kids.

Today I made a dryer satchel, to replace our dryer sheets. I used a small natural fabric bag, added a little batting, some fresh lavender from the garden, and a few drops of lavender oil inside. I have already used it on three loads and it still smells great. I will have to spruce it up from time to time, but again I am very pleased with the results.


Several weeks back I made natural laundry soap, and I am happy to report that it works and smells wonderful! I think you can tweak the receipt to however you will like it, but this is the one I made:

1 1/2 cup Borax

1 1/2 cup Washing Soda (some receipts say to add baking soda too, but I didn’t)

1 bar ZoteLaundry Soap, grated
(I picked zote because I like the natural citronella scent, but I may try Dr. Bronner’s next time for fun)

* Optional-Several drops of your favorite essential oil

(I used nag champa, it’s my favorite and it went well with the citronella in the zote, next time I may use lavander to match my dryer satchel)

We only have to use about 3 tablespoons if we have a large load, a little less for small loads. I am so happy with the results. We now have safe non-toxic detergent, using less of it and getting better results. How fun is that!

I am transitioning to a lot of new natural cleaning receipts. My basic cleaning supplies will now consist of baking soda, vinegar, washing soda, fresh citrus, borax, dr. bronners, and essential oils. I think I can cover almost all of our cleaning needs with these few safe and natural products. I love making less of an environmental impact, but I also believe it is vital to our family’s goal of complete health.

Happy Earth Day!! I hope you all enjoyed and celebrated.

I simply don't feel good

I try to stay positive and don’t love posting these updates, but they are necessary (and therapeutic) if I am being honest and open. Even with the beautiful weather, love, support, self talk and reality of my good life…. I simply don’t feel good!!  Unfortunately no matter how hard I try I am not able to will myself to physically feel better. Monty asked me this afternoon if I thought I was “going under” again.  I really don’t know, all I know is that it is tough when you are not well a lot of the time. 

 The kids had soccer this morning.  They both started a YMCA team that meets at SouthShore UMC.  Lexy started last week, but this was Rayne’s first time.  He was so excited last night that he could not fall asleep (not usually a problem for him at all) he kept saying I just wish it was morning already.  I put the kid’s clothes out last night, because I know mornings are the worst for me, and I was already not feeling that good.  I got up got them dressed and fed and sent them with daddy.  I went and laid back down in my bed for about three minutes, before I decided that I would not allow lupus to steal this precious time with my family.  I hurried got dressed and was only about 10 minutes late to Rayne’s game/practice (he plays first).  I was very proud of him!  He listened great and hung close to his coach.  He made two goals and only one was for the opposing team.  He is a fast little guy and stayed right on the ball.  Lexy also did wonderful as expected.  She is a good listener and gets along very will with other kids.  She also stayed right on the ball, but was not as quick to take it from another team mate.  She is the tallest one on her team! We came home… did a few chores and worked in the garden a little, and then spent some time licking my wounds.

Playing outside in bubbles

 It is such a strange journey I’m on… on one hand I feel so lucky to live this amazing life of mine, and lupus has helped me appreciate it more!  I have beautiful, colorful, adaptable kids that really just roll with the punches.   My mom is my best friend and I talk to her everyday, and she just lives moments away if I ever need her.  I don’t have to work out of the house, and have the opportunity to raise my children.  Lupus has taught me not to take these things for granted.  I am a lucky girl, yet I am sick so much that it gets me down!  I am constantly reminding myself of my charmed life, but it doesn’t make my illness go away.  I know the only way to get better is to continue exploring all avenues of health, and I plan on doing this…. I guess I am just weary.  Tomorrow will be better, if not the next day will.  It always gets better… it has to get better. 

Tomorrow is my lupus support group and I will be happy to see my lupie sisters. They are always able to help me gain perspective (without even trying). We are gearing up for our walk in a month and are excited about the upcoming activities, we have lots to talk about, and I look forward to all the hugs. For more information on the walk here is the link again (in case you missed it). If anyone is interested in walking or know someone who may want to be a sponsor please let me know, I will be happy to follow up with them.

https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=1014606&supId=353731936

Easter eggscitment



Our Easter celebrations began with having my coming family over for our egg coloring tradition.  It is quiet an event and has become a tiny bit competitive. We have all the newest and coolest egg dying kits, and mom always has prizes for the best eggs.  It’s a fun and messy evening.  Everyone made a “prize egg” and our eggs were beautiful as always.

Easter baskets #2 from Grandma

 The Easter bunny made it to our house and the kids were happy with their more practical Easter baskets full of socks, underwear, pajamas, a few toys and a chocolate bunny. I don’t think the even noticed that it wasn’t packed full of candy this year. I woke up feeling pretty yuck, but managed to get me and the kids to church to meet my family. Lexy and Rayne looked adorable in their Easter clothes. The service was great, and Rayne did not shed one tear going into his class. I had to come home and rest (this gave the kid’s time to inventory their loot). When I started feeling better we headed over to grandmas for a wonderful afternoon of egg hunts, swimming in the pool, bbq, bunny shaped cake, golf cart rides, and snake hunts. We also celebrated grandpa’s birthday. Rayne had gathered him a special birthday box of treasures that include a few rocks, a guitar pick, a dice, a shell, and a fish letter box.



Egg hunt prize

Yesterday I felt good, the kids I went out to lunch, and then we came home and spent sometime in yard. I even had the energy to transfer my compost to my new cool bin that my brother got me for my birhtday. Monty made the kids a new disk tree swing and tire swing that they have been spending much of their outside time on.  Our yard is super small, but we take advantage of every inch of it.

Sunflower in garden

Garden stone

Today started out great.  The kids and I painted a few garden stepping stones, we did our school work, and Lexy had speech therapy.  In the afternoon we headed outside for a bike ride, only to find out that mine and Monty’s bikes had been stolen.  I loved my tricycle and to add salt to the wound Monty had ordered me an electric motor for it for my birthday that was on back order.  Our bikes were quite unique!  I was complaining to Monty about how sad I was that my bike is gone, he reminded me that on the list of bad thing that could happen to us this was pretty low on the list.  He is so right… I know it is just stuff, but it was mine.  I know this is a lesson I needed to learn right now.  I have everything that is the most important and it is not my “stuff”.

Birthday fun!

My mom came and spent the day with me on my birthday, she is wonderful at making me feel special. While she was here a childhood friend stopped by and brought me beautiful bouquet of flowers.  It was a nice surprise, then I joined her and some more friends for a birthday lunch.  The kids sang me happy birthday when I got home and we blew out candles on cupcakes mom brought.  My day ended with just me and mom going to get a pedicure, when Monty got home to keep the kids. It was indeed a happy birthday!  

New garden fence!

 Thanks to my sweet, handy brother my garden fence is finally up and my vegetable plants protected from the neighborhood herbivores.  The fence is fantastic, Mike Jr is very talented and attentive to detail.  With the scraps from the fence Rayne built himself a bunny trap to catch a pet rabbit thankfully it is not effective, but we go out and check it every morning just in case.  I planted sunflowers and marigolds around the exterior.  I just love that our garden is coming together. 

Herb Garden

Plant nursery

Rayne's bunny trap

I have slowly starting some of the house purging.  Monty got me a new closet organizer and installed it last night, so he pulled everything out of my closet and my plan is for just a fraction of it to go back in.  I will share much of what I am removing, but we will also have a big garage sale to help with some of the medical bills. As for simplifying and using less… we have stopped using paper towels, have changed to rechargeable batteries, I am making our laundry soap and cleaning supplies, and I no longer wear deodorant (unless it’s a special occasion).  We are still buying our produce from local markets as much as possible, and choosing companies to support that share our same philosophies. I am in the process of moving a bunch of our outside plants inside to help our air quality. Monty is so helpful in this process.  We already thought we lived a pretty “earthy crunchy” healthy life, but the more we learn the more we realize there is SO much more we can do.  Monty talks about someday being able to be self reliant and “go off the grid.”  We can dream… right?

 I am still working very hard on focusing on positive, being grateful and taking control of what I am able to.  Still lupus is physically and emotionally draining, no matter how hard I try not to give it that power.  I have learned visualization, manifestation, gratitude, affirmation, taking control, but still the fear and negativity creeps in.  I was talking with Monty last night (after watching a Wayne Dyer special) I understand the positive part, but I still need to learn how to keep the fears at bay.  It is something I am actively working on.  I look forward to the day I will no longer post about lupus, and the anguish it causes my family and I.  I am healthy.  I am love.  I am connected.