Lexy's visit with bio family

We were over due for a visit with Lexy’s bio (maternal) sister (who is 10 years old now) and her bio (maternal) grandma.  Lexy was 19 months old and her sister J was 4 when they were removed from their home for severe abuse.  J endured documented abuse for years before she was finally removed due to the abuse on Alexis.  J moved in with her paternal grandma (the girls have different dads) and Lexy came to us.  It is the maternal Grandmother of both girls that brings J to the visits. 

This time we decided to meet at the bowling alley since Rayne had just won a free game and pizza at the fishing tournament.  I forgot how fun bowling is and the kids had a really great time.  We had pizza, bowled, and Grandma Julie brought Lexy’s Christmas gifts.  J has always been pretty challenging and regularly tests limits. Grandma Julie got Lexy a new baby doll, that she loved.  J began whispering to Lexy but I could not hear their conversation and because I tend to be a helicopter parent I was trying to give them space to bond.  Shortly after Lexy came up to me very worried and said to J tell my mommy what you told me about my new baby doll.  J quickly tried to change the subject but I insisted they go on.  Apparently J told Lexy that she had to tie her new baby’s feet together at night because that kind of baby would get up and try to kill her.   REALLY???  Lexy was panicked so I made J look at Lexy (J is not much for making eye contact of any kind) and tell her that she made up that story.  There were a few other worrisome interactions through out the visit and I had a long talk with Lexy and explained to her that J has some problems and that she sometimes makes up stories. 

This recent visit made me feel two things…. Thankful and sad!  First I am so thankful that Lexy is the little girl she is.  I am thankful for her innocence, her sweet spirit and that she is  my daughter.  It also made me sad because J is a troubled little girl and clearly has more damage from the time in the abusive home and time in foster care.  Both girls show signs of RADD (in different ways) and I hope J is getting the services she needs.