Wednesday, January 29, 2014

The whole story

Time for a baby girl update.  Every foster placement and case is unique but this one was particularly interesting. 


Maddie was placed with me on September 4 after spending a month in the hospital for being premature. Here is a quick recap on how she made it to me....  Her mom has had lots struggles with mental illness and drug use.  She allegedly came to visit her daughter in the hospital under the influence.  The nurses caring for her baby reported her and it was determined that it would not be safe for Maddie to go home to her mother at this time. 


Upon arriving at my home Maddie weighed only 6 lbs she was tiny and demanding.  I forgot the challenges of a brand new baby and how exhausting getting up every 2 hours is.  She was also beautiful and sweet.  She quickly out grew her preemie status and met all her milestones. She went from a demanding newborn to a sweet, happy baby that won the affection of everyone that met her.  She was bright, and engaging and brought so much joy into our home. 


Maddie's mom was not a viable placement and neither was her bio father or any other bio family at this time.  So that left legal family... Maddie's mom was married years ago to a man and since they never filed the paperwork for a divorce his family has legal rights to her.  They have been separated for many years and he now lives out of state (with his girlfriend) and because Maddie's mom is local (thankfully) they will not move her that far at this time (this will at least give her mom a chance to visit and get her back), but since his parents (legal grandparents) are local they decided they wanted to "foster" her until the case plays out.  Then their plan is to move her out of state to the legal dad.  To me this seems like too many detachments for child.  If the plan is to just foster why not keep her in the foster home that she has already bonded to.  Permanency for children is suppose to be found with in a year but that NEVER happens so she likely have to move again when she is two or older.  It is hard on children to be up rooted from all they know and start over again and again.  It would have been different had they moved her to her legal family from the hospital... after all they had a month to figure out placement they knew she wasn't going home with her mom but 5 months is too long.  I worry that this arrangement will also not give her mom a fair shake since the parents of her ex will be supervising her visits from now on.


So today I packed up all the "stuff" I had gathered and bought for her.  This is always the most emotional part for me... I can't ever seem to pack enough to ensure that my babies will be safe loved.  My mom reminded me that's because the "stuff" is the least important (and I know this) but at this point in the process it is all I have left I can do for her and took her to her new placement. 



No comments:

Post a Comment