He's a keeper!

It’s been a while since I updated.  Having an extra little one in the house keeps me busy and with my lupus fighting against me it is taking all of my energy to keep up with them.  The good new is I AM keeping up with them and it’s exactly what I choose and want to do.

Since my last update I have met Jay’s mom.  She cried and was happy to see that her baby was comfortable (and excited) when the kids and I came to pick him up from his visit.  She also questioned me about a few small things.  I felt defensive and annoyed but that’s not really fair.  I have to take a step back and put myself in her shoes.  If my kids were taken away from me and being cared for by a stranger (in foster care none the less) I would be a complete nut job.  She has provided many monetary items for Jay and offers to get anything I need.  She wrote me a personal e-mail to thank me for taking care of him.  Both parents will go to trial and the dad has hired a personal attorney.  The accusations now are that the reason Jay fell was because the dad grabbed the mom’s arm.  Who knows…. I can’t guess how it really went down.  All I have to go by is how the parents have treated me and their baby since he has been in my home.  I have seen nothing but caring, attentive parents.  I have to trust that the truth will come out (it’s on video for goodness sakes) that there was a lesson learned through this process, and that our baby will go where he will be safe and loved.  At this point he will likely go live with his grandparents in Chicago before he is reunited with either of his parents.

I have also accepted to take him as a permanent placement until all this mess is sorted out.  I just ordered him a crib that the agency is funding, so he would not have to move.  He has been in a pack and play but now that he will be staying a while he really needs a better mattress to sleep on. I am still very concerned about the bonds and attachments being formed, but I am trying to go with the flow and stop letting fear keep me from really listening to my heart.

Lexy and Rayne have started a new soccer season with a new league.  I had concerns when we started that it might be more competitive than we were looking for.  They actually keep score and have a tournament at the end.  Both kids have great coaches and they are learning a lot about the game, but their main goal is to have fun.  I’m not sure I will ever fit the “soccer mom” mold, but I will support and encourage them in whatever their interests are. Rayne scored four goals today and three of them where in the right goal.  Lexy has learned her position and stayed attentive and in the game except for when she was chasing the occasional passing dragonfly.  They are growing up so fast!!

Both kids say things daily that I think I should write down and keep in a scrapbook.  The best one came from Rayne this week we were talking about when they were babies.  I was telling Rayne that he was already walking when he was Jay’s age and he was asking other questions about what he ate and so on…. Then he asked “Mama was I brown when I was a baby?” I had to hold in my chuckle and of course told him that boys and girls pretty much stay the same color they come out.  The last several babies we have had have been sweet little boys of color and I love that Rayne views himself exactly the same as them.  Children are so honest and pure!!  I love that my kids have not been tainted by society, that I have had the privilege to keep them home and teach them.  How is it that of all the children in the world I got the best ones?